Home > Satyr, Stories > The Good Sectarian – who is one’s neighbour?

The Good Sectarian – who is one’s neighbour?

In the parable of the good Samaritan Jesus calls the disciples to become a neighbour. But how would this challenging story sound today?…
This is the satirical application of Luke 10:25-37.

Once a certain expert in the law stood up and tested Jesus, "Teacher, what must I do to inherit eternal life?"

He said to him, "What is written in the Law? How do you understand it?"

He answered, "'Love the LORD your God with all your heart, with all your soul, with all your strength and with all your mind', and 'your neighbour as yourself'."

"You answered correctly", said Jesus, "Do this, and you will live."

But the expert wanted to justify himself, so he asked Jesus, "And who is my neighbour?"

Jesus, therefore, told him this story: "A man was going home from church on a Sunday when a gang attacked him on the way. They stole his purse with his money and credit cards, stripped him of his Nike shoes, beat him up and wounded him with a knife, leaving him half dead.

Now, a certain Pastor, the KJV Man of God happened to be driving down the same road. When he saw the wounded lying on the ground in the pool of his blood, he stopped his car. He recognized him, and he thought in his heart: "I know him. He reads all those modern New Age Bible translations. He certainly does not believe the Word of God!" Thus, he drove away quickly.

In the same way another Christian, when he arrived at that place in his shinny limousine, stopped and looked at the poor guy. He thought, "If only I would not be so poor! He should really just trust the Lord!… But who knows, he might be a Mormon… or perhaps even worse, a Calvinist… Anyway, I am too busy today, and have no time, for I must go to pay my mortgage." Thus, he quickly drove away.

Next a Jehova's Witness came where he was. And when he saw the poor wounded guy, he had compassion on him, and went to him, and tearing stripes off his own expensive clothes bandaged his wounds. And set him in his own car not worrying that he would stain it with his blood, drove him to a private hospital, where he also took care of him.

On the next day, when he left he paid the hospital for two months stay. "Take care of him," said to them, "and if you have any extra expenses, I will come again, and will repay you."

"So which of these three do you think was a neighbour to the man who was attacked by the gang?"

The expert said, "The one who showed him mercy." Then Jesus said to him, "Go, and do likewise."

Categories: Satyr, Stories
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